Subject: People (Page 108)

Ninety-nine per cent of the people in the world are fools and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.

(1897 – 1975) American author & playwright
Fools Intelligence People

I finally know what distinguishes man from the other beasts: financial worries.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Animals Money People

You know, you can’t please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Characteristics Entertainment People

You guys have it so easy; you don't shave: it's sexy, it's a turn-on; we don't shave: it's birth control.

stand-up comedian
Men People Women

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
Future Men Past People Time Women

I went to a gay bar, they wanted proof of sex so I showed them, they said it wasn’t enough.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics Self Sex

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.

(1937 – ) American actor
People Self

Women are afraid of mice and of murder, and of very little in between.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
People Women

Things hate people.

Murphy’s Laws People Things

You don’t know a woman till you’ve met her in court.

(1923 – 2007) American novelist, journalist & playwright
People Women

Caesar might have married Cleopatra, but he had a wife at home… there's always something.

(1884 – 1949) American humorist & literary critic
Marriage People

A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

(1932 – 2009) U.S. senator (Massachusetts)
People

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
People Problems

It's like I disprove evolution and intelligent design at once.

(1978 – ) American comic writer
Appearance Body People Science/Weather Self

When everyone is against you, it means that you are absolutely wrong – or absolutely right.

(1863 – 1923) French playwright
Beliefs Conflict Opinion People

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight; when a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Body Fat Men People Women

The average man thinks about sex every… what were we talking about?

(1964 – ) American comedian
Men People Sex

A drowning man is not troubled by rain.

People Problems

The Americans are a funny lot; they drink whiskey to keep them warm, then they put ice in it to make it cool; then they put some sugar in it to make it sweet and then they put a slice of lemon in it to make it sour, then they say, “Here’s to you” and drink it themselves.

(1904 – 1976) Indian politician
America People Places

Ridiculous stereotypes often make people very ignorant towards other nationalities. For example, I’m in good shape, intelligent, and I don’t have sex with my cousins, and yet still people assume I’m American.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs People Religion