Subject: People (Page 11)

The eyes of Stalin, the voice of Marilyn Monroe.

(1916 – 1996) French president
People

I love my name: Paris is my favorite city, and Paris without the ‘P’ is “heiress.”

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Misspokements People Self

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol People Rednecks

Have you ever had one of those moments when you look up and realize that you’re one of those people you see on the train talking to themselves?

(1963 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Self

All people are born alike – except Republicans and Democrats.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Government People Politicians

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws People Time

The only reason I exist is so my shadow would have something to do.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People Self Things

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people – you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

Characteristics People

Babies are the only people I actually trust as far as I can throw them.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
People

A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People Success

My girl works at Hooters… in the kitchen.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Girlfriends People Work

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

(1925 – 2013) British prime minister & politician
Men People Speech Women

You have taken yourself too seriously.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People Self

The Arabs are only Jews upon horseback.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
People

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty People Politics

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Marriage Men Mistakes

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Appearance Body Girls Women

I believe people ought to mate for life… like pigeons or Catholics.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Marriage People

Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Self

Men are my hobby; if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People