Subject: People (Page 110)

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities People Rednecks Television

I don’t know whether Sadat and Begin deserve the Nobel Prize, but they both deserve Oscars.

(1898 – 1978) Israeli prime minister
People

There are no eccentrics in the suburbs.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Intelligence People Places

Eccentric: A man too rich to be called crazy.

Definitions People

Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Books Communication People Self

She doesn’t need a steak knife… she cuts her food with her tongue.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Communication People Speech

None are so empty as those who are full of themselves.

(1609 – 1683) British religious leader
Characteristics People

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

(1962 – ) Canadian-American actor & comedian
Men People Success Women

Marry an outdoors woman; then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Marriage People Women

They’re the only couples you’ll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders in the winery gift shop and both parties really want to be there.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
People

Bore: A guy with a cocktail glass in one hand and your lapel in the other

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
People

Abstainer: The kind of man you wouldn’t want to drink with even if he did.

(1882 – 1958) drama critic, editor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Ours is a world where people don't know what they want and are willing to go through hell to get it.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Beliefs People World

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion; a woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist
Characteristics Men People Women

I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they’re going to be talking.

Communication People Speech

A gossip is someone who talks to you about others, a bore is someone who talks to you about himself, and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to you about yourself.

(1925 – 1990) American actor
Communication Conversation People Self Speech

The Holocaust would never have happened if black people lived in Germany in the 1930s and 40s… well, it wouldn’t have happened to Jews.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People

If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**king block of concrete!

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
People

Vickie Lynn Hogan is my birth certificate’s name.

(1967 – 2007) American model
People Self

You know yer a redneck when you take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Ingrate: A man who bites the hand that feeds him, and then complains of indigestion.

Definitions People