Subject: People (Page 115)

Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
People Situations Time

The time of departure will be delayed by the square of the number of people involved.

Murphy’s Laws People Time

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
People

I know I’m God because when I pray to him I find I’m talking to myself.

(1931 – 2004) English playwright & screenwriter
Beliefs God People Self

Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
People Self

You might be a redneck if… the biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-Mart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

I had a woman come up to me at the airport and say, “I don’t mean to insult you, but you look like Bobcat Goldthwait.”

(1962 – ) comedian, actor, voice actor, screenwriter, & film & television director
Appearance People Self

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Self

People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they've done.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
People Speech Success

Reunion: When you meet people your own age who all look a lot older than you.

Definitions People

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for, and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

Ladies, if you’re at the mall and you think your man is looking at other girls just remember: If your man is at the mall with you… he… loves you.

(1964 – ) American comedian & actor
Men People Relationships

Ten men in the country could buy the world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money People Places Poverty

When I was 16 years old, the morning of my birthday, my parents tried to surprise me with a car, but they missed.

American comedian
Family Parents Self Situations

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Emotions Entertainment Film People Work

Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Definitions People

You might be a redneck if… your your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol Beer Entertainment People Rednecks

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

Most of the time I don’t have much fun; the rest of the time I don’t have any fun at all.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics Emotions Self