Subject: People (Page 117)

Beware of gifts bearing Greeks.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
People Places Things

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
People

Women: Can't live with 'em – can't live with 'em.

People Women

I suffer fools gladly because I am one of them.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Fools Intelligence People Self

[Dan] Quayle thinks Roe vs. Wade are two ways to cross the Potomac.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
People

You might recognize me… I'm the fourth guy from the left on the evolutionary chart.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
People Self

I found a guy's wallet and inside was a picture of my kids!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Things

I was raped by a doctor … which is so bittersweet for a Jewish girl.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People Self

Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
People

One out of three hundred and twelve Americans is a bore, for instance, and a healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people’s patience.

Murphy’s Laws People

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
People

The higher the “higher-ups“ are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

Murphy’s Laws People Success

A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.

(1920 – 2004) Canadian author, television personality & journalist
People Places Sex Things

No man knows more about women than I do… and I know nothing.

(1871 – 1949) British actor, playwright, screenwriter, manager & producer
People Women

I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard – day-in and day-out – just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it’s all over, he showers and goes to his job.

comedian
Men Sex

Intellectual: A guy who can keep his mind on a book at a beach.

Definitions People

I go to New York and I saw a big sign saying “America Loves Smirnoff” and I said to myself, what a country!

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian
America New York City Places Self

For some not to be martyrs is martyrdom indeed.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
People Situations

I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Age People Relationships Women

Nobody really cares or understands what anyone else is doing.

Murphy’s Laws People

The natural man has only two primal passions, to get and beget.

(1849 – 1919) Canadian physician
People