Subject: People (Page 12)

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Age Emotions Failure Friends

Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.

Murphy’s Laws People Situations

I'm not anti-social – I'm just not social.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics People Self

An optimist is a man who has never had much experience.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
People

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.

(1808 – 1889) French novelist & short story writer
People Women

A little incompatibility is the spice of life, as long as he has income and she is pattable.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Appearance Body Money Situations Women

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Activities Death People

A redneck died and left his entire fortune to his beloved wife… she couldn’t touch it until she was fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Death Marriage People Rednecks

I’d like to marry a nice domesticated homosexual with a fetish for wiping down Formica and different vacuum-cleaner attachments.

(1960 – ) English comedian, novelist & actress
Housework Marriage Men

There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy.

(1855 – 1931) Irish dramatist, biographer, novelist & poet
People

You might be a redneck if… you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten; they're in front of you in the supermarket express lane.

(1930 – 1977) German teacher
Intelligence People

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

A man's face is his autobiography; a woman's face is her work of fiction.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Men People Women

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

Men love to be thought of as funny… except when they’re in bed.

(1968 – ) American actress & singer
Men Sex TV/Movie Quotes

It is important to our friends to believe that we are unreservedly frank with them, and important to friendship that we are not.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Characteristics Friends Honesty People

A man has more character in his face at forty than at twenty… he has suffered longer.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Age Characteristics Men People

Man is the only animal that plays poker.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Activities Animals People

I'll tell you why — because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it starts to sink, for some reason, you get to leave with the kids and I have to stay — that's why I get the dollar more an hour.

(1968 – ) American stand-up comedian
Money People Women

It [feminism] is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

(1930 – ) American Southern Baptist minister, executive & media mogul
Beliefs Stupidity Women