Subject: People (Page 12)

Upper Crust: People stuck together by their dough.

Definitions Money People

You leave white people alone in constant isolation for thousands of years, you know what their musical contribution is going to be?… Riverdance.

(1959 – ) American actor, stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Music People

Don’t marry a man to reform him; that’s what reform schools are for.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men School

Employees who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
People

A man is designed to walk three miles in the rain to phone for help when the car breaks down, and a woman is designed to say, ‘you took your time’ when he comes back dripping wet.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Men People Women

Nobody believes the official spokesman… but everybody trusts an unidentified source.

(1934 – ) American White House Press Secretary for President Gerald Ford
People

I used to go out with a homeless girl… it was great 'cause after sex, I could just drop her off anywhere.

(1957 – ) American comedian
People Sex

Make sure to be in with your equals if you’re going to fall out with your superiors.

People

With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes; with male menopause you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Fat Men People Women

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; this is the principal difference between dog and man.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Characteristics Dogs People

People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
People Situations

If winners never quit, and quitters never win, what idiot came up with quit while you're ahead?

People Situations

I don’t want to be labeled as gay or straight. I just want people to see me… as white.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Girls People Things Women

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

Alcohol Intelligence People

A man can be called ruthless if he bombs a country to oblivion; a woman can be called ruthless if she puts you on hold.

(1934 – ) American feminist, journalist, & social & political activist
Characteristics Men People Women

People say to me, “You’re not feminine;” well, they can just suck my d**k.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
People Women

[George W.] Bush doesn’t know the names of countries, he doesn’t know the names of foreign leaders, he can’t even find the Earth on a globe.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Intelligence People

The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements Mistakes People Self Speech

I can take any amount of criticism so long as it is unqualified praise.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Communication People Self

New York is the only city in the world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Accidents New York City People Places Problems