Subject: People (Page 120)

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Self Sex

We expect them (Salvadoran officials) to work toward the elimination of human rights.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements People

People ask me how much I weigh. I tell them, 145 pounds, naked; that is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Appearance Self

I did think about adopting… an 18-year-old girl from Thailand, whose hobbies include vacuuming and some light dusting.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Girls Housework People Relationships

My parents were very protective; I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited and… placing bets.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family People Self

If it weren't for my Adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance Body Self

Many persons have difficulty remembering what President Franklin Pierce is best remembered for, and he is therefore probably best forgotten.

(1906 – 1989) American poet & author
People

A Frenchwoman, when double-crossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations – but they all will console themselves with another man.

(1899 – 1978) French actor
England People Places Relationships

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People

You can always reason with a German… you can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Insults People

A Canadian is sort of like an American, but without the gun.

America Arms Conflict People Places

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our to amuse them.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Friends Old People

I want a man who’s kind and understanding; is that too much to ask of a millionaire?

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Men Money People Relationships Wealth

If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.

(1920 – ) U.S. Secretary of State economist, statesman & businessman
People Reviews/Criticism

Love is staying up all night with a sick child… or a healthy adult.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Friends People

The scariest guy in prison is the white guy… because he's guilty.

American comedian
Conflict Crime Law People

In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown; the difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Education School Self

A woman scorned is a woman who quickly learns her way around a courtroom.

(1950 – ) Australian actress
People Women

Where would I be without my sense of direction.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Language People Self

A fool and his money is a friend indeed.

Fools Friends Intelligence Money People

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Shopping Television