Subject: People (Page 121)

There’s nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won’t aggravate.

(1922 – 2003) author & playwright
People

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women – one cleaning and the other dusting.

Australian comedian & actress
Housework People Women

Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships.

American comedian
Men Relationships Sex Women

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Girls

You might be a redneck if… your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos People Rednecks

A youth with his first cigar makes himself sick; a youth with his first girl makes other people sick.

(1880 – ?) American author
Dating People Relationships

Acquaintance: A degree of friendship called ‘slight’ when its object is poor and ‘intimate’ when he is rich or famous.

Definitions People

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

Money Murphy’s Laws People Time

A woman in love can't be reasonable – or she probably wouldn't be in love.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Women

You speak it the same way you speak English, you just use different words.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Communication Language People Speech

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.

Definitions Family People

An optimist is a man who has never had much experience.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
People

18,000 Women Recalled For New Tests

Headlines Women

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Individuals Work

If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Age People Women

Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Husbands Marriage People

During the feminist seventies men were caught between a rock and a hard-on; in the fathering eighties they are caught between good hugs and bad hugs.

(1936 – ) novelist, essayist & columnist
Conflict Men Past Women

If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
People Sex Women

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Football God Men Sports Women

He's a fine friend; he stabs you in the front.

(1904 – 1974) American author & radio producer
Friends People

People living in glass houses should not!

People Proverbs