Subject: People (Page 121)

You might be a redneck if… you think Sherlock Holmes is a housing project down in Biloxi.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People Success

A woman is like a cup of tea; you'll never know how strong she is until she boils.

Characteristics People Women

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance People

The great thing about the dead, they make space.

(1932 – 2009) author, poet & critic
Death People

Nothing annoys a woman more than to have company drop in unexpectedly and find the house looking as it usually does.

(1902 – 1963) Danish actor
Housework People Situations

Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
People Relationships

I know when (women) don't like me 'cause they'll say things like, 'Yeah, that's him, officer.'

(1960 – ) American stand-up comedian & writer
People Self Women

At any particular time, there are more horse's asses in the world than horses.

Characteristics Murphy’s Laws People

Love is what happens to a man and woman who don't know each other.

(1874 – 1965) English dramatist & novelist
Emotions Love Men People Women

You might be a redneck if… three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.

(1954 – ) American actress
Men People TV/Movie Quotes Women

You might be a redneck if… you think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

Americans: People with more time-saving devices and less time than any other people in the world.

Definitions People

You might be a redneck if… you've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Marriage People Rednecks Relationships

There have been only two geniuses in the world – Willie Mays and William Shakespeare.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress
People

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Beliefs People Religion Sex

The trouble with Ian [Fleming] is that he gets off with women because he can’t get on with them.

(1901 – 1990) British novelist
Insults People Women

The eyes of Stalin, the voice of Marilyn Monroe.

(1916 – 1996) French statesman & president
People

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Emotions Laughter People Self

Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as an assistant professor; it is for a woman schlemiel to get as quickly promoted as a male schlemiel.

(1920 – 1998) lawyer, congresswoman, & women's movement activist
People Women