Subject: People (Page 123)

A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be thankful for a good one.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol

It's the good girls who keep diaries; the bad girls never have the time.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

An optimist in Canada is someone who thinks things could be worse.

(1942 – ) Canadian politician

You might be a redneck if… you own a homemade fur coat.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Expert: An ordinary man away from home giving advice.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us.


I don’t believe in class differences, but luckily my butler disagrees with me.

(1931 – 1988) British magazine editor, political cartoonist & graphic artist

Tell me what brand of whiskey that Grant drinks; I would like to send a barrel of it to my other generals.

(1809 – 1865) 16th U.S. president

Never underestimate a man’s ability to underestimate a woman.

(1954 – ) American actress

Studies show 1 in 5 British teens are unable to peel an orange… it’s a good job they’ve all got knives then.

(1961 – ) English standup comedian, actor & writer

Genealogy: Tracing yourself back to people better than you are.

I'm not indecisive; am I indecisive?

(1947 – ) American politician & mayor

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist

I did a gig in the U.S. once for the homeless; I said ‘It’s nice to see so many bums on seats.’

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

You fantasize about a man with a Park Avenue apartment and a nice big stock portfolio; for me, it’s a fireman with a nice big hose.

(1956 – ) English-Canadian actress

The higher the “higher-ups“ are who've come to see your demo, the lower your chances are of giving a successful one.

We have the power to bore people long after we are dead.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

(1920 – 1985 Russian-born American actor of stage & film

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist