Subject: People (Page 127)

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

How do you know if it's time to wash the dishes and clean your house?… look inside your pants and if you find a penis in there, it's not time.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Housework Men People Situations

There’s a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there’s a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Family Mothers People Women

A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Age Friends People

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Intelligence Men People Women

Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.

Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money People

I have become rather like King Midas, except that everything turns not into gold but into a circus.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
People Self

I think anybody who doesn't think I'm smart enough to handle the job is underestimating.

(1946 – ) 43rd U.S. president
Government Intelligence President Self

A committee of three gets things done if two don’t show up.

Murphy’s Laws People

I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Individuals

In heaven all the interesting people are missing.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
People Places

All women dress like their mothers, that is their tragedy; no man ever does, that is his.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Appearance Clothing Men People Women

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Things

New York City is filled with the same kind of people I left New Jersey to get away from.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
New York City People Places

Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication People Reading/Writing

If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats People

I am a man of my word… and that word is “unreliable.”

(1973 – ) American comedian
Communication Language Self

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Individuals Women

A redneck died and left his entire fortune to his beloved wife… she couldn’t touch it until she was fourteen.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Death Marriage People Rednecks

When men reach their sixties and retire they go to pieces; women just go on cooking.


Age Men Old People Women

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.

(1972 – ) American actress
Characteristics Men People