Subject: People (Page 128)

I've always tried to be a good American citizen, so I have made it a point not to learn any other language but English.

stand-up comedian
America Communication Language People Self

When a guy writes a scene where a woman does a deviant sex act on camera, it’s objectifying; but when a woman writes it, it’s feminism.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Men People Sex Women

Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Alcohol Appearance Beer Body Men

Ballerinas are always on their toes; why don’t they just get taller ballerinas?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People

Some people are so narrow-minded that they have to stack their thoughts vertically.

(1953 – 1987) Dutch-born American actor
People

You might be a redneck if… you take a six-pack cooler to church.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Beer People Rednecks

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Murphy’s Laws People

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Things

If it has genitals on the outside it’s hiding something on the inside.

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Men People TV/Movie Quotes

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Housework People

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Marriage Men People Sex Women

These days, the problem with many neighborhoods is that there're more hoods than neighbors!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime People

Alone in a crowd

People

God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

(1975 – ) American actress, film director, screenwriter & author
Men TV/Movie Quotes

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
Intelligence People

Murphy’s Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another man of the same name.

Murphy’s Laws People

The man’s desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your ironing board doubles as a buffet table.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Things

A Canadian is someone who knows how to make love in a canoe.

(1920 – 2004) Canadian author, television personality & journalist
People Places Sex Things

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Men People

I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
People Television