Subject: People (Page 129)

I change girlfriends every seven years, a habit I picked up from broken mirrors.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Dating Girlfriends People Relationships

According to obituary notices, a mean and useless citizen never dies.

(1857 – 1938) American lawyer
Characteristics People

Employees who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
People

If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?”

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
People

I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.

American comedian & writer
Children People

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Intelligence People

He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool; he who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Conflict People Self

Where do the homeless have 90 per cent of their accidents?

(1928 – 2003) English entertainer
Accidents Failure People

I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine… the staples covered everything!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Individuals Women