Subject: People (Page 13)

Savages: People who don’t know what is wrong until missionaries show them.

Definitions People

I have such poor vision I can date anybody.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Appearance Body Characteristics People

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Intelligence People

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

Definitions People

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Cats Education Learning People

If you treat a girl like a dog, she’s going to piss on you.

(1964 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
Dating Girls People Relationships

Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.

(1672 – 1719) English essasyist, poet & politician
Emotions Happiness People

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Activities People Travel

Even at school they thought I had special powers; what was the phrase… ‘Constant super-vision.’

(1964 – ) English comedian
People Self

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

Never raise your hand to your children it leaves your midsection unprotected.

(1927 – ) magician & comedy writer
Children Conflict People

You might be a redneck if… you think "fast food" is hitting a possum at 65 miles an hour.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks

One day my father took me aside… and left me there.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Family Fathers People Self

A business executive is someone who talks golf in the office and business on the golf course!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Golf People Sports

There are more fools in the world than there are people.

(1797 – 1856) German critic & poet
Fools Intelligence People

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

(1952 – ) comedian
History Men People Time

Marge, every time I learn something new it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember that time I learned how to make wine and forgot how to drive?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Mind Self TV/Movie Quotes

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Communication Happiness Language People

You know a man is a redneck if his mama has got in a fistfight at a high school sporting event.

(1926 – 1998) American country comedian
People Rednecks

Y-chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only; the cause of virility, war, baldness, hockey, sex crimes, clever inventions and a disinclination to ask for directions when lost.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men