Subject: People (Page 14)

You could move.

(1918 – ) American advice columnist
People

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Money People Things

Duty is what one expects from others, it is not what one does oneself.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Money People Shopping Women

It's hard to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenics just because she lives in your body.

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Health People Self

My vagina is like Newark [New Jersey]; men know it’s there, but they don’t want to visit.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Self Sex

A man's face is his autobiography; a woman's face is her work of fiction.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Men People Women

There is no such thing as an unattached woman.

Murphy’s Laws People Relationships Women

My parents were very protective; I couldn’t even cross the street without them getting all excited and… placing bets.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family People Self

Imagine if the headless horseman had a headless horse… that would be chaos.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People

When I was a Republican, Saddam Hussein was our ally, George Bush owned a mediocre baseball team, Enron was a respected energy company and Michael Jackson was still black.

(1950 – ) Greek American author, columnist & website co-founder
Past People Self Time

Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends.

(1949 – ) American singer-songwriter, composer & actor
Communication Friends People Wordplay

I have an existential map; it has ‘you are here’ written all over it.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs Self

All women marry beneath them.

Marriage Murphy’s Laws Women

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day; I haven't had time for tobacco since.

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Activities People Situations Women

Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Clothing People Women

A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs Honesty Lies People Self Truth

Let’s face it, sports writers, we’re not hanging around with brain surgeons.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
Intelligence People Sports

I’m no angel, but I’ve spread my wings a bit.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Life Self

You might be a redneck if… you've ever taken an RV to a drive-in movie.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Characteristics People