Subject: People (Page 15)

Cannibals are not vegetarians, they are humanitarians.

Food/Drink People

Good hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even when you wish they were.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Characteristics Friends Old People

You [women] like mystery, ‘cause it’s not a mystery to you; you know when you’re gonna get laid.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
People Sex Women

It’s amazing the fans want to see me play; it’s kind of scary; I guess that’s what’s wrong with our society.

professional baseball player
People Self

I’d rather have an inch of a dog than miles of pedigree.

Animals Characteristics People

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Marriage Men People Women

Accept who you are… unless you’re a serial killer.

(1958 – ) comedian, actress & television host
People Self

Fanatic: One who, having lost sight of his goal, redoubles his efforts.

Definitions People

The reports on human progress are beginning to come in, and some are a little discouraging.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Life People

Ask any woman her age, and nine times out of ten she’ll guess wrong.

comedian
Age People Women

Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Men Sex Women

I broke up with this girl… I can't tell you her real name, of course, because – well, she didn't tell me her real name.

comedian
Dating People Relationships

I have noticed that the people who are late are often so much jollier than the people who have to wait for them.

(1868 – 1938) English humorist, editor, publisher & writer
People Time

Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.

American free-lance writer
People Situations

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

(1969 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
People Places Travel

If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Accidents Characteristics Men People

I meet so many people; I don’t even know some of my friend’s names.

(1981 – ) heiress, socialite, media personality & model
Friends People

I just want what every married woman wants, someone besides her husband to sleep with.

(1954 – ) American actress & singer-songwriter
Sex TV/Movie Quotes Women

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Self Television

I had an unemployed dwarf do a bit of casual work for me; he asked to be paid under the table.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People

Rosten’s First Law: First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work