Subject: People (Page 18)

Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication People Reading/Writing

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
People Success

Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse… but enough about Kanye West.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Reviews/Criticism

You might be a redneck if… your brother-in-law is your uncle AND your grandfather.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks Relationships

Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady, except that a newspaper can always print a retraction.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
People

Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.

(1901 – 2000) English author
Men People Sex Women

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
People Women

The eyes of Stalin, the voice of Marilyn Monroe.

(1916 – 1996) French president
People

Mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests.

Murphy’s Laws People

I can't take a well-tanned person seriously.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Appearance People

You might be a redneck if… you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your jeans up.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Body Drugs People Rednecks

Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
People Success World

Sometimes people have had terrible childhoods… and sometimes they just haven’t found their special place in life… and sometimes they’re dogs from hell and must be destroyed.

(1912 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Addams Family)
People Situations

There's no such thing as a feminist – just women who pay for their own breast implants.

Canadian-American comedian & writer
People

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Children Exaggerations People Women

When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist
People Self

Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

Characteristics Men People Women

Never argue with a man who is shorter than his Oscar.

(1928 – 2009) American television writer, playwright, screenwriter & author
Entertainment Film People

The French, they say, live to eat; the English, on the other hand, eat to die.

(1949 – ) English novelist
Eating England People Places

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

comedian
Doctors Health People Self

We have the power to bore people long after we are dead.

(1885 – 1951) American novelist, short-story writer & playwright
Communication People Reading/Writing Self