Subject: People (Page 2)

To last as long as I did with the skills I had, with the numbers I produced, was a triumph of the human spirit.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

Appearance Dating Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

You know your girlfriend is too young when she’ll do everything in bed but go upside down because it’s too scary.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Age Girlfriends Sex Young

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

No woman has ever so comforted the distressed—or so distressed the comfortable.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
People

[Dan] Quayle thinks Roe vs. Wade are two ways to cross the Potomac.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
People

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Characteristics Children People Things

There's so much good in the worst of us, and so many of the worst of us get the best of us, that the rest of us aren't even worth talking about.

(1895 – 1964) comedian (wife & partner of George Burns)
Characteristics People

The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.

Age Proverbs Women

A man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Beliefs Lies People Women

A man who has a million dollars is as well off as if he were rich.

(1763 – 1848) German-American, first multi-millionaire in the U.S.
Money People Wealth

Girls, give all your gentlemen friends an even break, even if you have to break them in the attempt.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Characteristics Men

The trouble with Bogart is he thinks he's Bogart.

(1906 – 1987) American movie director, producer & actor
People

He who builds by the roadside has many surveyors.

People Proverbs

If Bing Crosby was great, imagine how good Google Crosby would have been.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Wordplay

Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication People Places

You might be a redneck if… you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fathers People Rednecks

My face looks like a wedding cake left out in the rain.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Appearance Body People Self

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People Sex

We have become, Nina, the sort of people our parents warned us against.

(1785 – 1859) Boston boot maker & probation reformer
People Self

If your son's name is Dale Jr. and your name's not Dale… you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks