Subject: People (Page 22)

I had one guy at a gas station in New York say to me, “Hey, you look like that Hugh Grant… no offense.”

(1960 – ) English actor
Appearance People Self

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men People Women

The real trouble with war (modern war) is that it gives no one a chance to kill the right people.

(1885 – 1972) expatriate American poet & critic
Conflict Killing People War

Crying is the refuge of plain women, but the ruin of pretty ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance People Women

I’m selling a “Bigfoot hunting for Christians” book because people who believe in both will obviously buy anything.

American comedian
People

No, I’m breaking it in for a friend.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People Self

Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah didn't miss the boat.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People

You might be a redneck if… you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Ah, women: they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
People Women

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

Definitions Money People Women

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

(1899 – 1995) humorist
People Science/Weather

Never give a party if you will be the most interesting person there.

American film & television producer
Activities People

A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Men People Relationships Women

Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

(1920 – 1992) American science and science fiction author & professor
Intelligence People

How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? … sex is what we want!

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Men Sex

I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine… the staples covered everything!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

Hell is other people.

(1905 – 1980) French existentialist philosopher, playwright & novelist,
Beliefs People

When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action… they rented out my room.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Family Parents Self Situations

I had a woman come up to me at the airport and say, “I don’t mean to insult you, but you look like Bobcat Goldthwait.”

(1962 – ) comedian, actor, voice actor, screenwriter, & film & television director
Appearance People Self

Why is the winner of the Miss Universe contest always from Earth?

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
People Situations