Subject: People (Page 23)

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

(1928 – ) humorist, singer, songwriter & satirist
Emotions People

Three stages of sex in a man’s life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Definitions Men Sex

A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care. 

Canadian comedian & author
America Canada People Places

You might be a redneck if… you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People

The trouble with the profit system has always been that it was highly unprofitable to most people.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Money People

I'm really not a Facebook or Twitter guy; I'm a prime-rib-and-baked-potato guy.

American baseball player & manager
Baseball People Self Sports

What do you give a man who has everything… penicillin.

(1910 – 1995) American comedian & actor
People

The poor and ignorant will continue to lie and steal as long as the rich and educated show them how.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Money People Poverty Wealth

The best way to turn a woman's head is to tell her she has a beautiful profile.

(1885 – 1957) French stage actor, film actor, director, screenwriter & playwright
People Women

Many a man is saved from being a thief by finding everything locked up.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Crime Government Law People

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People Self Success

Ask any woman her age, and nine times out of ten she’ll guess wrong.

comedian
Age People Women

Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.

(1808 – 1889) French novelist & short story writer
People Women

Someone who looks like Marilyn Monroe and talks like George S. Kaufman.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
People Women

The trouble with Bogart is he thinks he's Bogart.

(1906 – 1987) American movie director, producer & actor
People

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
God Men People Things

No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Intelligence Men People Sex

Adding manpower to a late technology project only makes it later.

Murphy’s Laws People Time

I was once paged at JFK airport as “Mr. No One.”

(1947 – ) English singer & songwriter
People Self

Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Autos People Places

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Girls Life Sex