Subject: People (Page 26)

Mendoza: I am a brigand: I live by robbing the rich.

Tanner: I am a gentleman: I live by robbing the poor.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Money People

Many men and women enjoy popular esteem, not because they are known, but because they are not known.

(1741 – 1794) French writer
Men People Women

The French are masters of ‘the dog ate my homework’ school of diplomatic relations.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
People Places

My girlfriend wants me to choke her while we’re having sex… but I say, what’s wrong with while we’re having dinner?

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Girlfriends Relationships Sex

Queen: A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Government People

You might be a redneck if… your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Clothing People Rednecks

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Characteristics People

Men are people that have sex because they have a headache… or are on fire, or have been shot in the head, or whatever it is!

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Men People Sex

Englishmen think over a compliment for a week, so that by the time they pay it, it is addled, like a bad egg.

(1863 – 1930) British novelist & playwright
England People Places

The first time Adam had a chance, he laid the blame on woman.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Characteristics Women

Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs People Things

A consultant is a person who takes your money and annoys your employees while tirelessly searching for the best way to extend the consulting contract.

(1957 – ) cartoonist (Dilbert)
People

I'm not buddy-buddy with the players. If they need a buddy, let them buy a dog.

(1931 – ) American baseball player & manager
Baseball Friends People Sports

… the Women’s Lubrication Movement.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops People Women

I like long walks… especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Activities People

There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Communication People Speech

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self

His [George Bush] popularity rating – his approval rating – with blacks: two percent… two percent… that is somewhere between Mark Fuhrman and sickle cell anemia.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Insults People Reviews/Criticism

Many a necklace becomes a noose.

(1888 – 1982) American writer
Dating Marriage Men People Relationships Women

We just expressed our suffering differently as people; Blacks developed the blues… Jews complain… we just never thought of putting it to music.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People

My mom took me to a dog show and I won!!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Appearance Dogs People Self