Subject: People (Page 28)

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Parents Self Understanding

A lot of people are afraid of heights, but not me… I'm afraid of widths.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Fear People

My ex-girlfriend had a really weird fetish; she used to like to dress up as herself and then act like a bitch all the time.

American comedian
Girlfriends People

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Health People Self Work

Woman begins by resisting a man's advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Activities Men People Women

Communism doesn’t work because people like to own stuff.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Beliefs People Things

I kissed my first girl and smoked my first cigarette on the same day; I haven't had time for tobacco since.

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Activities People Situations Women

There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule.

(1933 – ) American telejournalist
People Situations

All my life affection has been showered on me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
People Self Success

Every time I sew a button back onto a shirt, there are then two solid minutes where I sincerely believe I would've survived the Oregon Trail.

(1982 – ) American comedian & actress
People Self

[Asked if he believed in clubs for women, Fields responded] Yes, if every other form of persuasion fails.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
People Women

People have one thing in common: they are all different.

People

To create man was a fine and original idea; but to add the sheep was a tautology.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Beliefs People

A celebrity is anyone who looks like he spends more than two hours working on his hair.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Appearance Hair People

So, have you noticed there aren't a lot of Chinese guys named Rusty?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
People

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

(1952 – ) comedian
History Men People Time

For weeks I’ve been telling him not to buy anything for my birthday, and he still forgot to bring me something.

People Self

Americans are like the straight, white man of cultures.

(1978 – ) Australian comedian, writer & actress
America People Places

Testosterone: Hormone which causes facial hair, muscularity, a deep voice, speeding tickets, the desire to watch professional wrestling, Arnold Shwarzenegger movies, war, fist fights, and the need to purchase cocktails for women with names like “Boom Boom. ”

Definitions Men

You might be a redneck if… Mailpouch sends you Christmas cards.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Hell is easy to define; it would be spending eternity with Evangelicals.

American judge & lawyer
Beliefs Opinion People Religion