Subject: People (Page 29)

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
People Self

Why is the winner of the Miss Universe contest always from Earth?

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
People Situations

People are always available for work in the past tense.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Men People Women

In Genesis it says that it is not good for a man to be alone… but sometimes it is a great relief.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Men People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… you own a Waffle House credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology; until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
Beliefs People Religion Science/Weather

We have met the enemy and it is us.

(1913 – 1973) American animator & cartoonist (Pogo)
People Signs

Redneck: Popular term for a rustic male, but rarely employed when addressing one in person.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Successful people are the ones who think up things for the rest of the world to keep busy at.

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
People Success World

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
People Situations Time

I’m not the type who wants to go back to the land… I’m the type who wants to go back to the hotel.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
People Self Situations

Support bacteria – they're the only culture some people have.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment People

I refuse to go out with a man whose ass is smaller than mine.

(1960 – ) American actress
Dating Men TV/Movie Quotes

There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Friends People

You might be a redneck if… you think a "quarter horse" is that ride in front of Kmart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals People Rednecks Things

Agatha Christie has given more pleasure in bed than any other woman.


(1929 – ) British television & radio critic
People Sex

Now there's a man with an open mind – you can feel the breeze from here!

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Individuals Insults Intelligence

Cricket is a game which the British, not being a spiritual people, had to invent in order to have some concept of eternity.

British politician
People Sports Time

There are two kinds of people in this world; those who think there are two kinds of people and those who are smart enough to know better.

(1936 – ) novelist
People

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things.

(1937 – ) English author
Men People