Subject: People (Page 30)

Per capita – just about everyone has no idea what a ‘capita’ is.

(1973 – ) American comedian
People

Officials make work for each other.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

I smile so seldom that I wonder at Arlene Francis, who smiles persistently… like the Sorcerer's Apprentice, once she turns it on can she turn it off?

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
People Reviews/Criticism

If you're a guy, you're wearing a fanny pack, the only thing inside there's, like, a butt plug and Streisand tickets.

stand-up comedian, writer & actor
People Things

I don’t let men smoke in my apartment, but if I have a woman over she can barbecue a goat.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
Activities Women

I like my coffee like I like my women… in a plastic cup.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
People Women

Believe me when I say that Bill Clinton's second term will be good for business… my business.

(1932 – ) American political satirist & comedian
People Self Work

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Insults People

Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.

(1895-1957) Canadian historian
America Canada People Places

He had the kind of handshake that ought never to be used except as a tourniquet.

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Characteristics People

He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool; he who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Conflict People Self

You might be a redneck if… you own a homemade fur coat.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

When team members are finally in a position to help the team, it turns out they have quit the team.

Murphy’s Laws People

An artist cannot talk about his art any more than a plant can discuss horticulture.

(1889 – 1963) French poet, novelist, playwright, artist & filmmaker
Art Entertainment People

If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom… most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Men People Things

What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
Characteristics People Situations

Ballerinas are always on their toes; why don’t they just get taller ballerinas?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People

A man should be greater than some of his parts.

Murphy’s Laws People

The worst golf shots always occur when playing with someone you are trying to impress.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Characteristics Men People War

In the Bob Hope Classic, the participation of President Gerald Ford was more than enough to remind you that the nuclear button was at one stage at the disposal of a man who might have either pressed it by mistake or else pressed it deliberately in order to obtain room service.

(1939 – ) Australian author, critic, broadcaster, poet & memoirist
Government People