Subject: People (Page 35)

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Intelligence People

Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.

movie character in The Mask (Amy Yasbeck)
Men People Relationships TV/Movie Quotes

Far-away talent always seems better than home-developed talent.

Murphy’s Laws People

People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them.

(1844 – 1924) French novelist
Characteristics People

If I want to wear my tits on my back, that’s my business!

(1946 – ) American recording artist, actress, director & record producer
Appearance Body Self

If there is reincarnation and I come back as myself, I’ll kill myself.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Self

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
People Women

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Self Sex

Apparently, when they say ‘peace and love,’ what they really mean is ‘filthy and annoying.’

stand-up comedian
People

Say what you want about the deaf…

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Communication People Speech

Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Body People

I found a guy's wallet and inside was a picture of my kids!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Things

You might be a redneck if… you got into a fistfight at your last yard sale.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Conflict Fights People Rednecks

One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.

writer
Friends People

You might be a redneck if… three quarters of the clothes you own have logos on them.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Appearance Clothing People Rednecks

A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying, “Do we have to ask them?” to people whose first response is, “How much do you think we have to spend on them?”

(1938 – ) journalist, columnist (Miss Manners)
Money People

Women should be obscene and not heard.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Language Speech Women

That’s why they’re man’s best friend… ‘cause guys want buddies that are dumber than they are; so do women, but they’ve already got men

(1957 – ) American comedian
Animals Dogs Men People

They were persecuted at the turn of the century by the U.S. government – that's right: Prohibition.

comedian, television writer
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can't get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.

(1920 – 1985 Russian-born American actor of stage & film
Girls Intelligence People Women

Skeptic: One who won’t take know for an answer.

Definitions People