Subject: People (Page 38)

If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
People Sex Women

When you talk to him, he looks at you and grins and grins and nods and nods and appears to be the world's best listener, until you realize he is not listening at all.

(1933 – ) television & radio host
Conversation People

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

(1952 – ) American writer & comedian
People

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Murphy’s Laws People

You might be a redneck if… you have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

Somewhere between the Angels and the French lies the rest of humanity.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

We cherish our friends not for their ability to amuse us, but for our to amuse them.

(1903 – 1966) English writer
Friends Old People

You might be a redneck if… the biggest city you have ever been to is Wal-Mart.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse’ … I’m not a recluse.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Insults People Self

You really wanna know what you look like to other people?… have a child draw you.

(1975 – ) American comedian & talk radio personality
Appearance People Self

Intuition: The strange instinct that tells a woman she is right whether she is or not.

Definitions Women

He’s not technically a lawyer, but he’s got three court cases next week.

Lisa Lampanelli (1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Law People

A woman is like a tea bag… you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.

(1884 – 1962) diplomat & reformer & first lady
People Women

Employees who think they know everything are very irritating to those of us who do.

(1936 – 2005) Irish comedian
People

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Sex

Maybe that's all that family really is, a group of people who all miss the same imaginary place.

(1975 – ) actor, director, screenwriter & producer
Family Memory People Relationships

The plain truth is, that he was a most intolerable ruffian, a disgrace to human nature, and a blot of blood and grease upon the history of England.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
England Insults People Places

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

(1889 – 1966) American humorist, writer, illustrator & cartoonist
Intelligence People

Irish people are Italians who can’t dress, Jamaicans who can’t dance.

(1960 – ) Irish singer-songwriter, musician, philanthropist & publicity seeker
People Places

Well I don’t see why I have to make one man miserable when I can make so many men happy.


Emotions Happiness Marriage Men People Sex

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships