Subject: People (Page 39)

Old ladies in wheelchairs with blankets over their legs, I don’t think so… retired mermaids.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Age Old People Women

I don’t feel I’m even worthy of a normal amount of value.

(1964 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & voice actor
People Self

Our ego is our silent partner – too often with a controlling interest.

(1923 – ) American quote & quip writer
Characteristics People Self

The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes; then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian
Appearance Body Men People Women

'Twas a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Individuals Women

Women speak two languages – one of which is verbal.

(1564 – 1616) English dramatist & poet
Communication Language People Women

Nobody notices when things go right.

Murphy’s Laws People Success

There is no stronger bond of friendship than a mutual enemy.

(1855 – 1931) Irish dramatist, biographer, novelist & poet
People

You might be a redneck if… your underwear doubles as your bathing suit.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

What do hookers do on their nights off – type?

(1952 – ) comedian
People Work

You might be a redneck if… you think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

When you have women in that situation [the military] it just creates a whole new set of dynamics which are distracting to training these men to kill or be killed.

(1969 – ) U.S. Representative (Delaware)
Government Military Misspokements People Women

One time my whole family played hide and seek; they found my mother in Pittsburgh!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers People Self

Some men are all right in their place… if they only knew the right places!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Places

Like its politicians and its war, society has the teenagers it deserves.

(1894 – 1984) English novelist, playwright & broadcaster
People

There are a good many fools who call me a friend, and also a good many friends who call me a fool.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Age Fools Friends People Self

I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they’re just as scared of me.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Relationships Self

You might be a redneck if… you can get dog hair from out of your belly button.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People Rednecks

A woman is like a cup of tea; you'll never know how strong she is until she boils.

Characteristics People Women

The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders.


Men Relationships Women

Before I met her, I drank and swore without reason… now I have a reason.

(1924 – 1992) English comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People Situations