Subject: People (Page 41)

One of the best things people could do for their descendants would be to sharply limit the number of them.

(1918 - 2002) American author
People

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People

We need a twelve-step group for compulsive talkers; they could call it On Anon Anon.

(1959 – ) American comedian
Communication People Speech

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends Relationships Time

The only decent people I ever saw at the racecourse were horses.


(1882 – 1941) Irish novelist & poet
People

You drive the car, you don't carry it.

American woman auto racer
Auto racing Sports Women

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need money the most, are the very ones who never have it.

(1867 – 1936) author & humorist
Life Money People

Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
People Relationships Women

That shower massager makes a woman shake like a car on bad gas going up a hill.

(1970 – ) American actor, producer & stand up comedian
People Women

Pretty women make us buy beer… ugly women make us drink beer.

(1946 – ) American actor
Beer Women

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Entertainment People Places

There's always something fishy about the French.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Insults People Places

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those who have several thousand extra dollars apiece.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Money People Things

Elections are when people find out what politicians stand for and politicians find out what people will fall for.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Elections/Voting Government People Politicians

When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist
People Self

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves into a position of power should on no account be allowed to do the job.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Government People Work

Bauer taught me how to dress, how to talk — and how to drink.

(1931 – 1995) American baseball player
Baseball People Sports

If we were truly created by God, then why do we still occasionally bite the insides of our own mouths?

(1972 – ) Irish comedian & television presenter
Beliefs God Self

The higher a monkey climbs, the more you can see of its ass.

(Vinegar Joe) (1883 – 1946) American army general
Characteristics People

I’ve got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a day… which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
People

The amount of trash accumulated within the space occupied is exponentially proportional to the number of living bodies that enter and leave within any given amount of time.

Murphy’s Laws People