Subject: People (Page 43)

At least Charles Manson has the decency to look crazy from the moment you meet him.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
People

There’s lots of nice guys walking around Hollywood, but they ain’t eating

(1898 –1985) American film director & producer
Hollywood People Places

Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
People

This increase in the world's population represents humanity’s victory against death.

(1932 – 1998) American professor of business administration
People

I honestly believe there is absolutely nothing like going to bed with a good book… or a friend who’s read one.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Age Books Friends People Sex Sleep

The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.

(1962 – ) writer & journalist
People

If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you… the next time he’s in need.

Friends Murphy’s Laws Old People

Savages: People who don’t know what is wrong until missionaries show them.

Definitions People

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
People

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Arms People Things

Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People

There are two types of people in this world: those who live in the cities… or ‘citizens’ as I call them… and those who live in the countryside… who shall remain nameless.

(1967 – ) English comedian
People

If you want to offend terrorists, if you’re a woman, wear a dress, and if you're a man, wear a dress. 

British-Asian comedian
People

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

Sometimes people have had terrible childhoods… and sometimes they just haven’t found their special place in life… and sometimes they’re dogs from hell and must be destroyed.

(1912 – 1988) American cartoonist (The Addams Family)
People Situations

No man is an island, but some of us are pretty long peninsulas.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
People Situations

Canadians do not like heroes, and so they do not have them.

(1912 – 1995) Canadian historical writer, essayist & literary critic
People Places

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill: Am reserving two tickets for you for my premiere. Come and bring a friend – if you have one.

Churchill’s reply: Impossible to be present for the first performance; will attend second – if there is one.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator
Entertainment Insults People

It is a statistical fact that the wicked work harder to reach hell than the righteous do to enter heaven.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
People Work

People have discovered that they can fool the devil; but they can't fool the neighbors.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
People Situations

I didn’t know you could name a Puerto Rican ‘Israel’ ‘cause I’m pretty sure you’ll never meet a Jew named ‘Puerto Rico.'

American comedian & actor
People