Subject: People (Page 46)

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese… and there are five people in my family, so it must be one of them.

(1967 – ) English actor, writer & comedian
Family People Relationships

If I wanted to be with people p**sing themselves and talking rubbish, I’d have a kid.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

She’s a classy girl though, at least all her tattoos are spelt right.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
People Women

Man is the only animal that blushes… or needs to.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Animals Emotions People

Men… you can’t live with them… you don’t have to.

Men People

Poor George [Bush], he can't help it; he was born with a silver foot in his mouth.

(1933 – 2006) politician
Insults People

Me and Jake LaMotta grew up in the same neighborhood. You wanna know how popular Jake was? When we played hide and seek, nobody ever looked for LaMotta.

(1919 – 1990) American boxing champion
Boxing People Self Sports

As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows, cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind.

(1917 – 1998) author, critic, animal rights activist
Animals Cats Characteristics People

Even at school they thought I had special powers; what was the phrase… ‘Constant super-vision.’

(1964 – ) English comedian
People Self

Information travels more surely to those with a lesser need to know.

Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

Liberal: A man with his mind open at both ends.

Beliefs Definitions People

The worst-tempered people I’ve ever met were the people who knew they were wrong.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
People

He was once visiting the French Quarter during a hurricane and got blown behind a dumpster.

(1956 – ) comedian, television host, social critic & political commentator
People Places Sex

Hell is other people.

(1905 – 1980) French existentialist philosopher, playwright & novelist,
Beliefs People

I know I’m God because when I pray to him I find I’m talking to myself.

(1931 – 2004) English playwright & screenwriter
Beliefs God People Self

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
People

…the difference between old friends and new friends is that new friends just haven't let you down yet.

(1973 – ) American comic book writer & artist
Friends People

Whenever someone you know, or someone you do business with, moves to a new location, it’s always farther away.

Murphy’s Laws People

He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool; he who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Conflict People Self

They say men can never experience the pain of childbirth; but they can, if you hit them in the goolies with a cricket bat for 14 hours.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Men People Women

The Englishman who has lost his fortune is said to have died of a broken heart.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Emotions England Money People Places Wealth