Subject: People (Page 48)

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People Sex

I don’t think I could be gay… I just don’t have it in me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Self

I married beneath me – all women do.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Marriage Women

I’m so gay, I could put a lisp in the word ‘cracker.'

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

No, no… Jimmy Stewart for governor… Ronald Reagan for his best friend.

(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)
Entertainment Film People Situations

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

(1871 – 1951) American artist
Communication Death Life People

A hypocrite is a person who – but who isn't?

(1878 – 1937) humorist, journalist & author
Characteristics People

How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? … sex is what we want!

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Men Sex

The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Computers Fools Intelligence People Things

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Happiness People

If you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Self Wordplay

The typical West of Ireland family consists of father, mother, twelve children and resident Dutch anthropologist.

(1911 – 1966) Irish novelist, dramatist & columnist
People Places

A character who, if he had not existed, could not be imagined.

(1893 – 1973) playwright & screenwriter
People

Ask anybody over 30 – if they tell you they have more than 10 friends, you know they’re counting co-workers.

American comedian & television host
Age Friends Old People

A man who will not lie to a woman has very little consideration for her feelings.

(1918 - 2002) American author
Beliefs Lies People Women

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance Body Self

Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m schizophrenic and so am I.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Health Self

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Men People Relationships

If women don't find you handsome they should at least find you handy.

(1945 – ) Canadian comedian & actor
People TV/Movie Quotes Women

Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it.

(1925 – ) columnist & journalist
Age Children People

Men don't get cellulite — God might just be a man.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Beliefs God Men