Subject: People (Page 5)

It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

Beliefs People Religion Sex

If God wanted women to understand men, football would never have been created.

novelist, screenwriter & businessman
Football God Men Sports Women

Every organization has an allotted number of positions to be filled by misfits.

Corollary: Once a misfit leaves, another will be recruited.

Murphy’s Laws People

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women.

(1925 – 2007) humorist & columnist
Sex Women

I know I’m God because when I pray to him I find I’m talking to myself.

(1931 – 2004) English playwright & screenwriter
Beliefs God People Self

If there are any of you at the back who do not hear me, please don't raise your hands because I am also nearsighted.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Communication People Self Speech

The reason there are so few female politicians is that it’s too much trouble putting make-up on two faces.

Australian comedian & actress
Characteristics Government People Politicians Women

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

(1901 – 1989) wife of Lester Bowles Pearson, Canadian prime minister
Men People Success Women

A homely face and no figure have aided many women heavenward.

(1861 – 1950) American writer
Appearance Body People Women

I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father; he said he wanted more proof.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Fathers People Self

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Men People Women

For weeks I’ve been telling him not to buy anything for my birthday, and he still forgot to bring me something.

People Self

I have had more trouble with myself than with any other man I have ever met.

(1837 – 1899) American evangelist & publisher
Men People Self

I often confuse Americans and Canadians… by using long words.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
America Canada People Places

He from whom you first ask the way will be a stranger too.

Murphy’s Laws People

He called me a ‘rapist’ and a ‘recluse’ … I’m not a recluse.

(1966 – ) American boxing champion
Insults People Self

I believe in loyalty… when a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it.

(1919 – 1995) Hungarian-born American socialite & actress
Age Old People Women

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn't know how to lie, cheat, and steal; he's always had an agent do that.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Characteristics Honesty People Politics

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

(1926 – 2017) American stand-up comedian & actor
Marriage People Situations

The only place a men want depth in a woman is in her [cleavage].

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Intelligence Men People Women