Subject: People (Page 52)

Scientists are trying to invent Viagra for women. It’s been along for years… it’s called cash.

(1962 – ) American comedian & actor
Activities People Shopping Women

I like men… as a concept.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Men People

The poor and ignorant will continue to lie and steal as long as the rich and educated show them how.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Money People Poverty Wealth

Why is the winner of the Miss Universe contest always from Earth?

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
People Situations

You're looking for a lump in a bag of lumps… that can take some time.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Health Men People

Woman is the most powerful magnet in the universe, and all men are cheap metal… and they all know where 'North' is.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Characteristics Men People Women

Gold Digger: A girl who will date any man that can pass the asset test.

Definitions Money People Women

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Men Things Time Women

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Women

The only people who listen to both sides of a family quarrel are the next-door neighbors.

People

The great themes of Canadian history are as follows: Keeping the Americans out, keeping the French in, and trying to get the Natives to somehow disappear.

(1964 – ) Canadian writer & novelist
America Canada History People Places

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way.

(1775 – 1817) English novelist
Characteristics People

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot actually masturbate.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Activities People Sex

Flattery is telling people exactly what they think of themselves.

Characteristics People Self

Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Age Old People

The years that a woman subtracts from her age are not lost… they are added to the ages of other women.


(1499 – 1566) French noblewoman & prominent courtier
Age Old People Women

God is silent; now if only man would shut up.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God People

Thou shalt not commit adultery; now, you know no guy would have ever dreamed that one up.

American comedian & writer
Beliefs People

If I were married to her, I’d be sure to have dinner ready when she got home.

(1920 – ) American economist, statesman & businessman
Characteristics People

If the world should blow itself up, the last audible voice would be that of an expert saying it can’t be done.

(1921 – 2004) English actor & author
People

Spinster: An unlusted number.

Definitions People Women