Subject: People (Page 53)

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

(1856 – 1915) writer, publisher, artist & philosopher
Beliefs Definitions People

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Intelligence Life People

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.

(1917 – 2016) Hungarian-born American actress
Men People Things

You might be a redneck if… you think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Self Sex

Men can read maps better than women… cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men People Women

61% of graduating teens have had sex, 37% will eventually have sex, and 2% become statisticians.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
People Sex

Sometimes when I’m bored, I like to people watch… and I got to a touristy area and I play this game I just made up; I call it “Lesbian or Midwestern?”

Canadian-American comedian & writer
Appearance People

Some people can stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.

(1837 – 1920) American author
Insults People Relationships Time

Gravitation can not be held responsible for people falling in love.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
Emotions Love People

Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Individuals People

Do you know why God withheld the sense of humor from women? … that we may love you instead of laugh at you.

(1865-1940) English actress
Men People Women

My mom always said, ‘Men are like linoleum floors. You lay them right, and you can walk on them for 30 years.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Men People Sex

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships

If you are flattering a woman, it pays to be a little more subtle; you don’t have to bother with men, they believe any compliment automatically.

(1939 – ) English playwright
Characteristics Men People Women

Woman begins by resisting a man’s advances and ends by blocking his retreat.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
People Relationships Women

We expect them (Salvadoran officials) to work toward the elimination of human rights.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Misspokements People

It’s hard to play a guy who rattles his medals while you’re putting.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf People Sports

If Howard Cosell were a sport, he'd be roller derby.

(1909 – 1973) American sports journalist
People

There are only two kinds of men; the dead and the deadly.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Men People

Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus.

George Alan O'Dowd (1961 – ) British singer-songwriter
Appearance Body People