Subject: People (Page 55)

An optimist is a fellow who believes what's going to be will be postponed.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Characteristics People

Hell is other people.

(1905 – 1980) French existentialist philosopher, playwright & novelist,
Beliefs People

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

(1898 – 1981) actor, singer, songwriter & movie producer
Marriage Men Mistakes

Man is the only animal that laughs and has a state legislature.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Government Laughter People

I’m fairly certain that the only reason I was born crippled was because God knew I wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to become a stripper.

American comedian
Health People Self

You know what they say: ‘Once you go black… your parents don’t talk to you anymore.'

(1981 – ) American Comedian
Dating People Relationships

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist
Characteristics People Work

A woman telling her true age is like a buyer confiding his final price to an Armenian rug dealer.

(1913 – 1983) journalist & author
Age People Women

Thou shalt not commit adultery; now, you know no guy would have ever dreamed that one up.

American comedian & writer
Beliefs People

Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit.

Australian comedian & actress
Men People

Y Chromosome: A line of genes designed for men only.

Definitions Men People

Urinal: The one place where all men are peers.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions Men

If he slices the budget like he slices a (golf) ball, the nation has nothing to worry about.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Golf Government People Sports

Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication People Reading/Writing

You may be a redneck if you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Education Money People

My trademarks are a hoarse, grating voice and the face of a retired pugilist: small narrowed eyes set in puffy features which look as though they might, years ago, have lost on points.

(1911 – 1986) American actor
Appearance Body People Self

Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

(1819 – 1891) American novelist, essayist & poet
People Situations

Marriage is the price men pay for sex, sex is the price women pay for marriage.

Marriage Men People Sex Women

I don’t think my family liked me… they put a live teddy bear in my crib.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Age Family Self Young

I concentrate on exercises from the waist down, since that is the laziest part of a woman's body.

(1934 – ) American actress, singer & author
Activities Exercise People Women

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women