Subject: People (Page 56)

Expert: A person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.

(1944 – ) American author & entrepreneur
People

I want to be so famous that drag queens will dress like me in parades when I'm dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Self Success

Do not argue with an idiot; he/she will drag you down to his/her level and beat you with experience.

Fools Intelligence People

Men, I feel, are like wine – before buying, a real connoisseur takes a small sip, and spits them out.

(1936 – 1993) British writer
Men People Relationships

You might be a redneck if… the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the number and significance of any persons watching it.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

And now, I’m pleased to introduce the star of the film Gladiator, and a man I like to call a close, personal friend, but he told me not to…

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician
Friends People

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Insults People

My mother loved children – she would have given anything if I had been one.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Children Family People Self

I saw what’s going on under my chin; I don’t want to be the one the president has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Appearance People Self

Homosexuality is God’s way of ensuring that the truly gifted aren’t burdened with children.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Characteristics Children Intelligence People

I’m selling a “Bigfoot hunting for Christians” book because people who believe in both will obviously buy anything.

American comedian
People

Let men see what's coming to them, and women will get what's coming to them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Women

The rich aren’t like us… they pay less taxes.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
People Taxes Wealth

I envy people who drink… at least they have something to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Scotsman: A man who, before sending his pajamas to the laundry, stuffs a sock in each pocket.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Frugal Money People

Off-the-docks Jews.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops People

Modesty: Being comfortable that others will soon discover your greatness.

Definitions Self

I only like two kinds of men; domestic and foreign.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Men People Places

God is silent; now if only man would shut up.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Beliefs God People

Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
People