Subject: People (Page 56)

Ben Roethlisberger is Tim Tebow minus Jesus.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
People

Italian women never die – they just shrink out of existence.

(1958 – ) American comedian, actress & jazz musician
Death People Women

You might be a redneck if… directions to your house include "turn off the paved road.”

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Places Rednecks

Women’s styles may change, but their designs remain the same.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Appearance Clothing People Women

Discriminate: To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Communication Definitions Language People

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Murphy’s Laws People Work

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Age Old People

Every revolutionary idea – in Science, Politics, Art or whatever – evokes three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the three phrases: 1. It is completely impossible; don't waste my time. 2. It is possible, but it is not worth doing. 3. I said it was a good idea all along.

Ideas Intelligence Murphy’s Laws People

I want to be the fastest woman in the world… in a manner of speaking.

American woman drag racer
Auto racing Sports Women

Intuition: That strange instinct that tells a woman she is right, whether she is or not.

Characteristics Definitions People Women

My husband could have had any women he pleased – he just couldn't please any!

Husbands Marriage Women

Some of the world’s greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

(1926 – ) newspaper columnist
People Success

Clique: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

Nothing spoils a romance so much as a sense of humor in the woman.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Emotions Love Women

A woman in love can't be reasonable – or she probably wouldn't be in love.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Emotions Love Women

When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at.

Activities Games Men Murphy’s Laws

Americans can eat garbage, provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup, mustard, chili sauce, Tabasco sauce, cayenne pepper, or any other condiment which destroys the original flavor of the dish.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Eating Food/Drink People Places

The bulk of mankind is as well equipped for flying as thinking.

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Intelligence People Thinking

Women need a reason to have sex; men just need a place.

(1948 – ) comedian, actor, writer, producer & film director
Men Sex Women

Men are like lawnmowers: they’re hard to get started, emit noxious odors and half the time they don’t work.

Men People

It is only rarely that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman.

(1824 – 1895) French writer
Children Girls People