Subject: People (Page 57)

Bore: One who insists upon talking about himself when you want to talk about yourself.

Definitions Self

Let men see what's coming to them, and women will get what's coming to them.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Women

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Body People

It's our fault… we should have given him better parts.

(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)
Acting Government People

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People Situations

An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.

(1912 – 2003) newspaper columnist
Characteristics People

There’s only one difference between Catholics and Jews; Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.

(1952 – ) comedian
Beliefs Characteristics People Religion

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends People

Sometimes people come up to me and they'll be like, 'In Italy, it's pronounced 'Bir-Bee-Lya’ … and I'm like, 'In America, you're annoying.

(1978 – ) American comedian & writer
Communication Language People Self

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People

If we men married the women we deserved, we should have a very bad time of it.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Marriage Men People Women

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, ‘What does woman want?’

(1856 – 1939) Austrian neurologist, father of psychoanalysis
People Women

When people ask me what sign I was born under, I say "I'm not certain, but it could have been the one that says 'Dining Car in opposite direction'."

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Communication People Self

Neurotic: A person who, when you ask how she is, tells you.

Definitions People

If men knew how to do it, they wouldn’t have to pay for it.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men Money People Sex

Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Men People Things

It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Characteristics Lies People Truth

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn’t there.

(1809 – 1882) English naturalist
People

If he wants breakfast in bed, tell him to sleep in the kitchen.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Men People Situations

I only have ‘yes’ men around me; who needs ‘no’ men?

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People Self

Wedding: A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Marriage People