Subject: People (Page 59)

A woman will lie about anything, just to stay in practice.

(1888 – 1959) detective novelist & screenwriter
Characteristics Honesty Lies People Women

There are four kinds of people: those who sit quietly and do nothing, those who talk about sitting quietly and doing nothing, those who do things, and those who talk about doing things.

Communication Murphy’s Laws People Speech

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment People Television

A woman is like a tea bag… you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.

(1884 – 1962) diplomat & reformer & first lady
People Women

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Girlfriends People

The tenderest spot in a man's make-up is sometimes the bald spot on top of his head.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
Characteristics Men People

Most men do not mature, they simply grow taller.

(1908 – 1997) German-born teacher, academic & humorist
Men People

An economic forecaster is like a cross-eyed javelin thrower: they don’t win many accuracy contests, but they keep the crowd’s attention.

People

Egotism: Usually a case of mistaken nonentity.

(1907 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics Self

If there are twelve clowns in a ring, you can jump in the middle and start reciting Shakespeare, but to the audience, you'll just be the thirteenth clown.

Murphy’s Laws People

No woman has ever so comforted the distressed—or so distressed the comfortable.

(1903 – 1987 diplomat, playwright, journalist & politician
People

Siamese twins are interesting because they are the only people who can write a biography and an autobiography at the same time.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Books Communication People Reading/Writing

Martina was so far in the closet she was in danger of being a garment bag.

1944) is an American writer & screenwriter
People Sex

God gave men brains larger than dogs so they wouldn’t hump women’s legs at cocktail parties.

(1975 – ) American actress, film director, screenwriter & author
Men TV/Movie Quotes

What do you give a man who has everything… penicillin.

(1910 – 1995) American comedian & actor
People

Things are gradually falling into place on top of me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Problems Self

Be careful of men who are bald and rich; the arrogance of "rich" usually cancels out the nice of "bald.”

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Appearance Characteristics Men People Wealth

Bureaucrat: A person who cuts red tape sideways. 

Government People

I learned whether you are gay, bisexual, it doesn’t matter, you know… because, at the end of the day, they’re both gross.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
People Sex

Ah, women: they make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.

(1844 – 1900) German philosopher
People Women

You take 10 Jews at random and put 'em on a basketball court, you get a real estate seminar.

comedian
People