Subject: People (Page 74)

Well, I screwed it up real good, didn't I?

(1913 – 1994) 37th U.S. president
Mistakes People Problems Self

Love your neighbor, but don’t tear down your fence.

People Proverbs

Zoo: A place devised for animals to study the habits of human beings.

(1863 – 1935) British-born American writer, artist & illustrator
Animals Definitions People Places

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location.

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Body Sex Women

A Canadian is merely an unarmed American with health care. 

Canadian comedian & author
America Canada People Places

Sometimes I think [my writing] sounds like I walked out of the room and left the typewriter running.

(1890 – 1960) journalist, author & dramatist
Communication Reading/Writing Self

I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

American comedian
Animals Dogs Self

Show me a woman with both feet planted firmly on the ground – and I'll show you a girl who can't get her knickers off.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Characteristics People Women

It’s wonderful to meet so many friends that I didn’t used to like.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Age Friends Misspokements People

I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, OK, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.

(1957 – 2007) American stand-up comedian & actor
Intelligence People Women

One time my whole family played hide and seek; they found my mother in Pittsburgh!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers People Self

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task since it consists principally in dealing with men.

(1857 – 1924) English (Polish-Ukrainian-born) novelist
Men People Problems Women

Boys are capital fellows in their own way, among their mates but they are unwholesome companions for grown people.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Men People

Larry King is so old, he's actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

(1978 – ) American writer & stand-up comedian
Age Old People

He'd fall in a sewer and come up with a gold watch.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
People Situations

True friends stab you in the front.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Conflict Friends Old People

A woman might as well propose: her husband will claim she did.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Marriage Men People Women

To protect your position, fire the fastest rising employees first.

Murphy’s Laws People Situations Work

Most Texans think Hanukkah is some sort of duck call.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People Situations

Men have as exaggerated an idea of their rights as women have of their wrongs.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Characteristics Men People Women

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people… that’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
People