Subject: People (Page 75)

Remember to always be yourself… unless you suck.

(1964 – ) screenwriter, executive producer, director, composer & actor
Characteristics People Self

Go away kid, you bother me.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children People

No matter what time your guests arrive, pretend they’re early, so naturally you’re not ready.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
People Time

Some women pick men to marry; and others pick them to pieces.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Marriage Men People Women

Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone.

Golf Murphy’s Laws People Sports

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School

We started off trying to set up a small anarchist community, but people wouldn't obey the rules.

English author, actor, humorist & playwright
Conflict Government People

They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions Laughter People Self

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

(1942 – ) American author and teacher
Intelligence Men People Women

I once dated a famous Aussie rugby player who treated me just like a football; made a pass, played footsie, then dropped me as soon as he’d scored.

(1958 – ) Australian author
Dating Men People Relationships

I was the centerfold for Playgirl magazine… the staples covered everything!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Body People Self

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they’re loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
People

In creating the human brain, evolution has wildly overshot the mark.

(1905 – 1983) Hungarian-British author & journalist
People Science/Weather

You might be a redneck if… you think the stock market has fence around it.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

It's all right letting yourself go as long as you can let yourself back.

(1943 – ) English rock singer
Activities Appearance Body Fat Self

I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow.

(1856 – 1924) 28th U.S. president & politician
Intelligence People Self

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer
Cooking Food/Drink People Women

All I can say is, if they show my butt in a movie, it better be a wide shot.

(1969 – ) American actress, dancer, singer & entrepreneur
Appearance Body People Self

Whatever creates the greatest inconvenience for the largest number must happen.

Murphy’s Laws People

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, “Dude, thanks for the hammock.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
People Things

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement; of course He could have made it to last longer, but you can't have everything.

(1927 – 2018) playwright & screenwriter
Appearance Body People Women