Subject: People (Page 77)

Elvis transcends his talent to the point of dispensing with it altogether.

(1945 – ) author, music journalist & cultural critic
People Situations Success

You might be a redneck if… your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Music People Rednecks

Never criticize Americans… they have the best taste that money can buy.

(1941 – 2008) British journalist, musician &broadcaster
America Characteristics Money Opinion People Places

Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People

Women don't want to hear what you think; women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Communication People Speech Women

Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he’s in trouble.

Lutheran minister
People

Reckless Driver: One who passes you on the highway in spite of all you can do.

Definitions People

I don’t like meals for one; it’s not that they make me feel lonely… it’s that they’re not big enough.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Food/Drink Self

When I was a kid at my birthday parties my mom would say, “make a death-wish and blow out the candles.”

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
People Self

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
People Places

Neighbors: The strangers who live next door.

(1950 – ) American author, satirist, webmaster & copywriter
Definitions People

In the heat of a political lifetime, he innocently squirrels away tidbits of misinformation and then, sometimes years later, casually drops them into his public discourse, like gum balls in a quiche

Characteristics People

Murphy’s Law was not propounded by Murphy, but by another man of the same name.

Murphy’s Laws People

There are two theories to arguing with women… neither one works.

People Women

Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again.


Memory Murphy’s Laws People Problems Situations

Four of us slept in the one bed; when it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Cold People Self

You know how growing up we all had that voice inside our head that tells us we’re not good enough? Well, mine was outside my head driving me to school.

(1970 – ) American actress
Family Mothers People Self TV/Movie Quotes

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Money People Situations

I used to get bummed out when it rained; then I realized that it's God's way of washing off hippies.

(1973 – ) American comedian
Beliefs God People

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Characteristics People Self

Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're alive.

(1871 – 1951) American artist
Communication Death Life People