Subject: People (Page 8)

If your son's name is Dale Jr. and your name's not Dale… you might be a redneck.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

You might be a redneck if… you've ever been too drunk to fish.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol People Rednecks

The French like burgers, Madonna and Miami Vice.

(1955 – ) French President & politician
People Places

The best way to get over a guy is to get under a new one!

Dating Men Relationships Sex

You might be a redneck if… your family tree doesn’t fork.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Family People Relationships

If men knew how to do it, they wouldn’t have to pay for it.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Men Money People Sex

I was the best I ever had.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
People Self Sex

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, and that is sufficient.

Murphy’s Laws People Time

Let's face it, show business is run by 2,000 Jews and Oprah, and she lives next door to Spielberg, which makes her Jewish by association.

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Beliefs Entertainment People Religion

Ask anybody over 30 – if they tell you they have more than 10 friends, you know they’re counting co-workers.

American comedian & television host
Age Friends Old People

Gay people don’t actually try to convert people… that’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
People

It [feminism] is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.

(1930 – ) American Southern Baptist minister, executive & media mogul
Beliefs Stupidity Women

I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard – day-in and day-out – just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it’s all over, he showers and goes to his job.

comedian
Men Sex

Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.

(1864 – 1910) French author
Communication People Reading/Writing

Ten men in the country could buy the world and ten million can’t buy enough to eat.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
America Money People Places Poverty

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year… it was my second season in the bigs.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

The best number for a dinner party is two – myself and a damn good head waiter.

(1896 – 1972) Turkish-born Armenian business magnate
Eating Food/Drink People

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Girls People Things Women

You know a man is a redneck when he calls sardines and spam Hors d'uvres.

(1926 – 1998) American country comedian
Food/Drink People Rednecks

My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron… and a lot like Dog the Bounty Hunter.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Girlfriends People

My dad is Irish and my mum is Iranian, which meant that we spent most of our family holidays in Customs.

(1969 – ) American singer-songwriter & musician
People Places Travel