Subject: People (Page 83)

Manager: Someone who doesn’t know how to do your job, who tells you how to do your job.

Definitions People Work

I have become rather like King Midas, except that everything turns not into gold but into a circus.

(1879 – 1955) German-born physicist
People Self

A pessimist is one who, when he has a choice of two evils, chooses both.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Characteristics People

Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.

(1951 – 2014) comedian & actor
Appearance Conflict Fights Individuals People Ugly

If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget, he didn't lose your number, he didn't die… he just didn't want to call you.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People

Are Women Human?

Book Titles People Women

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day – and another, in case it doesn’t rain.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
People

Everybody and his dog was there.

Expressions People

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Fools Intelligence People

A Merry Christmas to all my friends except two.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Friends People

If the hours are long enough and the pay is short enough, someone will say it's women's work.

Money People Women Work

It requires a surgical operation to get a joke well into a Scotch understanding.

(1771 – 1845) English writer & Anglican clergyman
Entertainment People Places

Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Communication People Problems

I saw a man with a wooden leg, and a real foot.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People

Spinster: A lady in waiting.

Definitions People Women

Jerry Ford is so dumb that he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Opinion People

Men like phones with lots of buttons; it makes them feel important.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People Things

You might be a redneck if… you consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Fathers People Rednecks

Some people are widely read – I'm thinly read.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Intelligence People Reading/Writing Self

He immatures with age.

(1916 – 1995) British politician & prime minister
People

Accuracy to a newspaper is what virtue is to a lady, except that a newspaper can always print a retraction.

(1900 – 1965) diplomat & Democratic politician
People