Subject: People (Page 85)

To make an enemy, do someone a favor.

Murphy’s Laws People

To find a friend one must close one eye; to keep him – two.

(1868 – 1952) British writer
Friends

People become progressively less competent for jobs they once were well equipped to handle.

Murphy’s Laws People Work

I like men… as a concept.

(1957 – ) British stand-up comedian
Men People

You might be a redneck if… you own a Waffle House credit card.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Money People Rednecks

Every time I breathe, they like, ‘Why you breathing so hard?'…So I can live!


Appearance Fat Self

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.

(1769 – 1821) French general & politician
Mistakes People

Humankind cannot stand very much reality.

(1888 – 1965) British (US-born) critic, dramatist & poet
Intelligence People

The realization that it was not people I disliked but children was for me one of those celebrated moments of revelation.

(1922 – 1985) English poet & novelist
People

It is well-known what a middleman is; he is a man who bamboozles one party and plunders the other.

(1804 – 1881) British prime minister, politician & author
Characteristics People

Is a narcissist’s suicide a crime of passion?


People Self

You might be a redneck if… you keep a fly swatter in the front seat of the car so you can reach your kids in the back seat of the car.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Children People

Men like phones with lots of buttons; it makes them feel important.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Communication Men People Things

A fanatic is one who sticks to his guns whether they’re loaded or not.

(1908 – 1980) businessman, humorist
People

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion rules, including: both of your socks should always be the same color, or they should at least both be fairly dark.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Appearance Clothing Men People

The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Beliefs People Religion

Expert: A person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.

(1944 – ) American author & entrepreneur
People

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.

(1818 – 1885) humorist
Family Women

He'd fall in a sewer and come up with a gold watch.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
People Situations

Window Dresser: A girl who doesn’t pull down the shades.

Definitions People

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.

(1972 – ) American actress
Characteristics Men People