Subject: People (Page 88)

People like to hear me say 'shit' in my gorgeous voice.

(1904 – 2000) English actor, director & producer
Acting Entertainment People Self

Somebody stole my identity… good luck using it without the medications.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian, television writer/producer & radio host
People Self

One day my father took me aside… and left me there.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Family Fathers People Self

You might be a redneck if… you've ever heard the phrase "come and move this transmission so I can take a bath!"

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Intelligence Men Thinking

This guy says, ‘I’m perfect for you, ‘cause I’m a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.’ … I said, ‘Oh, a gay trucker?’

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Men People

Jerry Ford is so dumb that he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.

(1908 – 1973) 36th U.S. president
Insults Opinion People

Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Golf People Situations Sports

Some people are so narrow-minded that they have to stack their thoughts vertically.

(1953 – 1987) Dutch-born American actor
People

They finally found one.

British ski jumper
People Self

Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
People

At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people – you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!

Characteristics People

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Individuals People

There are two kinds of people in this world; those who think there are two kinds of people and those who are smart enough to know better.

(1936 – ) novelist
People

When someone you greatly admire and respect appears to be thinking deep thoughts, they are probably thinking about lunch.

Food/Drink Intelligence People Thinking

War hath no fury like a noncombatant.

(1867 – 1928) English journalist & novelist
Conflict People War

Never mind, dear, we're all made the same, though some more than others.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
People

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Individuals Killing People

Intuition: The sixth sense that allows a woman five wrong guesses.

Definitions Women

Philanthropist: One who returns to the people publicly what he steals from them privately.

Definitions People

Dates are basically where I go out and I act like someone I'm not until the person likes me enough to be who I actually am.

writer & comedian
Characteristics Dating People Relationships Self