Subject: People (Page 9)

Don’t you hate it when people assume you’re rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?

British actor, comedian & writer
Money People Wealth

I didn’t get a lot of awards as a player… but they did have a Bob Uecker Day Off for me once in Philly.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
People

Most people deserve each other.

Murphy’s Laws People Relationships

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do; and for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.’

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor
Entertainment Music People

The fact that you do not know the answer does not meant that someone else does.

Murphy’s Laws People

You might be a redneck if… you had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
People Rednecks

I think the Japanese are smart people – stereotypically so.

(1982 – ) American stand-up comedian
Intelligence People

Death to all fanatics!

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Beliefs People

The average Italian…. is a cowardly baritone who consumes 78.3 kilometers of carbohydrates a month and drives about in a car slightly smaller than he is, looking for a divorce.

(1938 – 2007) British writer
People Places

People who live in glass houses might as well answer the door.

David Gerrold (1944 – ) science fiction author
Life People Things

That's the perfect microcosm for men and women: it takes a million sperm to find one egg 'cause they're all males and not one of them is gonna pull over and ask directions.

American actor & comedian
Men Sex Women

My parents are Catholic, which means that they love Jesus and liquor and I don't think there's anything more Mexican than that.

(1974 – ) American stand-up comedian
People Religion

There's only two white men that black people love: Bill Clinton and Bob Barker.

(1963 – ) American comedian
People

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Friends Intelligence Old People

Gold Digger: A woman after all.

Definitions People Women Wordplay

I have everything now I had twenty years ago – except now it’s lower.

(1911 – 1970) American burlesque entertainer, actress, author & playwright
Age Appearance Body Old Self

I'm so sick of these men who just talk about themselves… I'm looking for a well-hung mime.

(1964 – ) Canadian stand-up comedian, actress & television host
Body Men Speech

I don’t think I could be gay… I just don’t have it in me.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Self

The number of women a man find attractive is truly proportionate to his age.

Age Men Murphy’s Laws People Women

I knew when my career was over; in 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports