Subject: People (Page 97)

All my life I’ve wanted, just once, to say something clever without losing my train of thought.

American writer
Intelligence Self

The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 a.m.

(1926 – 1999) actor, comedian & female impersonator
Food/Drink People

When a problem goes away, the people working to solve it do not.

Murphy’s Laws People Problems

Only the mediocre are always at their best.

(1882 – 1944) French novelist, essayist, diplomat & playwright
People

Professionals built the Titanic; amateurs built the ark.

People Work

Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.

(1918 – 2004) radio and television comedian & talk show host
People

Eunuch: A man who has had his works cut out for him.

(1930 – ) American author and billiard player, teacher & commentator
Body People

An expert really doesn't know anymore than you do. He is merely better organized and has slides.

Murphy’s Laws People

A homeless guy asked me for 2 pounds, so I gave him 1.67 because that’s what a woman would get paid for doing the same job.

British comedian
Men Money People Women Work

To a woman the first kiss is just the end of the beginning but to a man it is the beginning of the end.

(1876 – 1950) journalist & humorist
People Relationships Time Women

Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’… On what?… On fire?

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian
Activities Clothing Shopping Situations Women

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Activities Past People Time

Pipe-smokers spend so much time cleaning, filling and fooling with their pipes, they don't have time to get into mischief.

(1915 – 1977) columnist, writer & actor
Characteristics Individuals People

Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter
Friends Success

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

(1952 – 2001) English writer, dramatist, & musician
Characteristics Eating Food/Drink People

There are some people who, if they don’t already know, you can’t tell ‘em.

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
People Yogi-isms

Engineers are all basically high-functioning autistics who have no idea how normal people do stuff.

(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author
Intelligence People

You might be a redneck if… you take your dog for a walk and you both use the tree at the corner.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Animals Dogs People

As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.

(1956 – ) author & movie actress
Age Appearance Body Old People

The world would not be in such a snarl, had Marx been Groucho instead of Karl.

(1888 – 1989) American composer & lyricist
People Places World

He’s done everybody’s act; he’s a parrot with skin on.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Insults People