Subject: People » Self

I always thought I'd go to the Oscars, but only as a stalker.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Entertainment Film People Self

“Belinda Carlisle sings, ‘We dream the same dream' … but I can’t believe that every night Belinda Carlisle has a wet dream about Wilma Flintstone.

(1964 – ) British comedian, novelist & television presenter
Activities Self Sleep

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance People Self

Is a narcissist’s suicide a crime of passion?


People Self

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.


People Self

Egotism: Usually a case of mistaken nonentity.

(1907 – 1990) American actress
Characteristics Self

Where would I be without my sense of direction.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Language People Self

If there are any of you at the back who do not hear me, please don't raise your hands because I am also nearsighted.


(1907 – 1973) poet & critic
Communication People Self Speech

I know [my head] is big because every time I'm in a picture, it always looks like I'm really close to the camera.

Canadian comedian
Appearance Body Self

When I was a kid, I got no respect. I told my mother I’m gonna run away from home. She said, “On your mark…”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers Self

[My husband] can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house… he can't stand the competition.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance People Self

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

(1956 – ) American comedian
People Self Sex

I couldn’t be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.

(1967 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Self

I don’t like my music, but what is my opinion against that of millions of others.

(1904 – 1988) Austrian-American composer
Entertainment Music People Self

When I answer the door the kids hand ME candy.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Self Situations Ugly

I never apologize… I’m sorry but that’s the way I am.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Self TV/Movie Quotes

Some people are widely read – I'm thinly read.

(1962 – ) English stand-up comedian & actor
Communication Intelligence People Reading/Writing Self

I hate myself, but being Jewish has nothing to do with it.

(1947 – ) American comedian, writer, actor & television producer
Beliefs Religion Self

At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Death Self

If you can’t hear me, it’s because I’m in parentheses.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
People Self

I'm not anti-social – I'm just not social.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Characteristics People Self