Subject: People » Self (Page 14)

You know that creepy-looking guy you stare at two seats behind you, thinking, who would come to a movie by himself? That's me.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive

I’m not a fighter, I’m a bleeder.

(1971 – ) Irish comedian, actor & writer

I'm not a competitive person… I'll be the first to admit it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

My New Year’s resolution is to get in shape… I choose round.

(1975 – ) English comedian

I still believe that at any time the no-talent police will come and arrest me.

(1963 – ) Canadian comedian, actor, screenwriter & film producer

I would rather be an opportunist and float than go to the bottom with my principles round my neck.

(1867 – 1947) British politician

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.

(1935 – ) screenwriter, author, director & producer

You know how growing up we all had that voice inside our head that tells us we’re not good enough? Well, mine was outside my head driving me to school.

(1970 – ) American actress

How do people make new mates?… asking for a friend.

Comedian & writer

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and on airplanes, because no one can leave.

(1936 – 2018) American actor

I know [my head] is big because every time I'm in a picture, it always looks like I'm really close to the camera.

Canadian comedian

Every time I get in an elevator, the operator says the same thing to me: “Basement?”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

They used to shoot her through gauze; you should shoot me through linoleum.

(1903 – 1968) movie actress

When I don't look like the tragic muse, I look like the smoky relic of the great Boston Fire.

(1832 – 1888) novelist

I’m at the age where food has taken over the role of sex in my life. In fact last night, I put a mirror over my kitchen table.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

I’m not a lesbian… but I play one in the home movies my husband forces me to make.

(1996 – ) American comedian

I spend three minutes every day choosing a TV channel to leave on for my dog; then I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult.

American comedian

When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist

Elvis may have been the king of rock 'n' roll, but I am the queen.

Richard Penniman (1932 – ) American singer & pianist

Patriotism is the conviction that your country is superior to all others because you were born in it.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist