Subject: People » Self (Page 18)

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Characteristics Death People Self

He fell in love with himself at first sight and it is a passion to which he has always remained faithful.

(1905 – 2000) English writer
People Self

I can’t die… it would ruin my image.

(1914 – 2011) American exercise expert
Appearance People Self

I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
People Self Success

The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Death People Self Sex

Admiration: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Characteristics Communication Definitions Language Self

When I was a Republican, Saddam Hussein was our ally, George Bush owned a mediocre baseball team, Enron was a respected energy company and Michael Jackson was still black.

(1950 – ) Greek American author, columnist & website co-founder
Past People Self Time

When you look like I do its hard to get a table for one at Chucky Cheese.

(1969 – ) comedian & actor
Appearance Self

Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

[My husband] can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house… he can't stand the competition.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Appearance People Self

I’m not a paranoid deranged millionaire; Goddammit, I’m a billionaire.

(1905 – 1976) industrialist, aviator, engineer, film producer & philanthropist
Money People Self

I’m a man of no convictions… at least I think I am.

(1946 – ) British playwright, screen writer & film director
Characteristics People Self

I told my kids, “Someday, you’ll have kids of your own.” One of them said, “So will you.”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Children Family People Self

Career highlights?… I had two; I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.

(1935 – ) American baseball player, sportscaster, comedian & actor
Baseball Self Sports

I'm bald, blind and pale… I'm like a gigantic recessive gene.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

My boyfriend and I are both in our late 20s; he’s 29, I’m 34.

(1980 – ) Australian comedian
Age People Self

Of all the great qualities he had, and there were so many, there was one thing that set him apart from everybody else; he really thought I was funny.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Characteristics Self

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

(1965 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer
Communication People Self Speech

My beard is the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's look good.

American basketball player
Basketball People Self Sports

A person who knows how to laugh at himself will never ceased to be amused.

(1934 – ) American actress, dancer, activist & author
Emotions Laughter People Self

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and on airplanes, because no one can leave.

(1936 – 2018) American actor
Entertainment Film People Self