Subject: People » Self (Page 19)

I don't get no respect, are you kiddin’? The time I got hurt… on the way to the hospital, the ambulance stopped for gas.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

They laughed at Edison and Einstein, but somehow I still feel uncomfortable when they laugh at me.

(1933 – ) English author & cartoonist
Emotions Laughter People Self

I'm not a competitive person… I'll be the first to admit it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
People Self

Modesty: Being comfortable that others will soon discover your greatness.

Definitions Self

I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father; he said he wanted more proof.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Fathers People Self

We were poor… if I wasn’t a boy, I wouldn’t have had nothing to play with.

(1922 – 1991) American comedian
Money Poverty Self

You know that creepy-looking guy you stare at two seats behind you, thinking, who would come to a movie by himself? That's me.

(1969 – ) Canadian ice hockey player & executive
Hockey People Self Sports

I stopped buying women’s magazines; the only time I ever see someone who looks like me is under the word ‘Before’.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Appearance Self

My trademarks are a hoarse, grating voice and the face of a retired pugilist: small narrowed eyes set in puffy features which look as though they might, years ago, have lost on points.

(1911 – 1986) American actor
Appearance Body People Self

I never thought you could win a Pulitzer just for quoting Tommy Lasorda correctly.

(1919 – 1998) American sportswriter
Baseball Communication People Reading/Writing Self Sports

I am a very committed wife, and I should be committed too – for being married so many times.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
Marriage Self Wives

Do not punish yourself, you deprive the world of its purpose.

(1967 – ) English comedian
Life Self

My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
People Self

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing themselves.


People Self

I watching a weird porn the other day; it was just a fat man crying and wanking at the same time…. then realized I hadn't turned the TV on.

(1973 – ) English writer & stand-up comedian
People Self Sex

Dad, the odds of me knowing the score to the Mariners game is about the same as you knowing the score to Pacific Overtures.

(1955 – ) American actor, comedian, producer, director & singer
Self TV/Movie Quotes

We may never know exactly how much others know about us, but we can always suspect it.

People Self

It's very expensive to be me; it's terrible the things I have to do to be me.

(1967 – 2007) American model
People Self

I hate to see a young man get ahead on the basis of a famous family name.

(1932 – 2009) U.S. senator (Massachusetts)
People Self Success

The doctor says he has to amputate all of me.

comedian
Doctors Health People Self

Excuse my dust.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Epitaphs Self